I am in a vortex of obligation.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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