i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
