the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
