he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Life is so much better after having sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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