Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
