I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
