what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
