Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
