im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am naked and annoyed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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