Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So squirting runs in the family.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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