the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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