Define "chronic" masturbator.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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