already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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