We got so high we made milksteak
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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