That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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