Your tits are I can't wait for
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
