We're like a lot better than the average bears
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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