If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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