She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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