problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
