Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
