remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
