It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
