How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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