Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
