Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
