well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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