just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
