I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
