haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
