This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
