Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
