I heard we made out
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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