I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
