some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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