we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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