So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
