So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
