Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
