If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
