i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
