my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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