I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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