I wish life had little blips of pornography
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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