Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
