I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need a beard to bite.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
