I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
