You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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