you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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