don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
